One Year Ago Today...

...our world was rocked.

We envisioned a relatively smooth pregnancy. Things were looking great with our three little bundles of joy. But our plan was not God's plan.

My water broke one year ago today. I was just shy of 22 weeks along. Words can't describe the way I felt that day. This is my best attempt.

We take a yearly vacation to Gatlinburg at thanksgiving. Last year was set to be a normal vacation for Matt and Ava. I knew I couldn't go because my OB wanted me to stay close by since I was carrying triplets. I was weepy all day thanksgiving.  I couldn't figure it out. At the last minute (literally) Matt stayed with me and we sent Ava on with his parents.  (I know now that God had his hand all over us that day...He knew I would need Matt with me.)  That was the last time I could hold and love on Ava for nearly 3 weeks. Once my water broke I was placed on strict bedrest. We didn't know what the coming days held but we did know that God already knew the outcome and that no matter what He would see us through. And He has.

I just knew everything would be fine from day one. When this happened, of course, I think I ran through every emotion possible. I was heartbroken. Scared. Angry. Unsure of what was to come. I cried {a lot}. I couldn't control it most of the time. And inexplicably I was filled with an unknown peace. I trusted God. I knew He was in control and I prayed with very breath that he would save my babies. That He would put His hand around us all and protect us.*

This is just the beginning of our journey. Our story, if you will. In the coming days I will be posting about the babies' birth stories. I haven't decided yet if my heart is ready to share pictures from those days. There was so much trauma and they were so tiny. Will you pray for me as I write those posts and for us as a family as we navigate these days celebrating 3 of our blessings?

*(Please don't read that as I wasn't concerned. We very much were. And I had tons of moments where I just wanted to scream "why me?" and "what did I do to deserve this?". I think it's a pretty normal emotion for that kind of circumstance. I know I was filled with peace.)