Tuesday, November 27, 2012

One Year Ago Today...

...our world was rocked.

We envisioned a relatively smooth pregnancy. Things were looking great with our three little bundles of joy. But our plan was not God's plan.

My water broke one year ago today. I was just shy of 22 weeks along. Words can't describe the way I felt that day. This is my best attempt.

We take a yearly vacation to Gatlinburg at thanksgiving. Last year was set to be a normal vacation for Matt and Ava. I knew I couldn't go because my OB wanted me to stay close by since I was carrying triplets. I was weepy all day thanksgiving.  I couldn't figure it out. At the last minute (literally) Matt stayed with me and we sent Ava on with his parents.  (I know now that God had his hand all over us that day...He knew I would need Matt with me.)  That was the last time I could hold and love on Ava for nearly 3 weeks. Once my water broke I was placed on strict bedrest. We didn't know what the coming days held but we did know that God already knew the outcome and that no matter what He would see us through. And He has.

I just knew everything would be fine from day one. When this happened, of course, I think I ran through every emotion possible. I was heartbroken. Scared. Angry. Unsure of what was to come. I cried {a lot}. I couldn't control it most of the time. And inexplicably I was filled with an unknown peace. I trusted God. I knew He was in control and I prayed with very breath that he would save my babies. That He would put His hand around us all and protect us.*

This is just the beginning of our journey. Our story, if you will. In the coming days I will be posting about the babies' birth stories. I haven't decided yet if my heart is ready to share pictures from those days. There was so much trauma and they were so tiny. Will you pray for me as I write those posts and for us as a family as we navigate these days celebrating 3 of our blessings?

*(Please don't read that as I wasn't concerned. We very much were. And I had tons of moments where I just wanted to scream "why me?" and "what did I do to deserve this?". I think it's a pretty normal emotion for that kind of circumstance. I know I was filled with peace.)

15 comments:

  1. Praying for you all today and the days ahead. We love you all so much!

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  2. Praying for you to continue your strength you have had to be a strong mother for all of your sweet, sweet babies!

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    1. Thank you Jessica! Praying for you as you decide about Africa next year! God is gonna bless your socks off!

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  3. Karmen,

    I will continue praying for you your lil family. I will tell you I was talking with about you today. I had a customer come in my store and was upset because her premie grandbaby was readmitted to the hospital. I told her about your story and was like God can work miracles just hang in there!

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    1. Thank you Dawnetta! It warms my heart to know that you thought of us to help encourage someone! Love your sweet heart!

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  4. Praying as the family goes through remembering all the hard days in the past.... Karman and Matt I would just like to say you guys have 4 Beautiful childern and JoJO Loves them with ALL my Heart.
    Hope it was ok to tell you this.
    Love JoJo

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    1. Thank you JoJo! We love y'all so much an appreciate y'all more than you'll ever know!

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  5. All of you are God's blessing to us and it feels my heart with love for all four of your and Matt's loving little angels. Through the trails in our life's God carries us and through the good he is beside us always.
    Love you all and may God continue to bless all of you. Thanks for sharing this time.

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    1. Thank you so much! God has been so good to us. I wish I knew who you were to thank you more personally. Thanks for reading!

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  6. Karmen,
    I love yall so much. Im always praying for you and Matt. Hollyn, Hew and Ava are so precious. I love you all so much.
    Love Whitney

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    1. Thank you Whitney! I love you so much! And I miss your face FYI. :) you're so sweet!

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  7. My Sweet Beautiful Baby. I love you so much. You and Matt are Awesome Parents. I am so Proud of you both. I can not imagine what you went through. My heart aches for you at this time.God was always in control, we just can't see it sometimes. What Beautiful Joy your 4 children has brought me. I am sooo in Love, but then again I'm so in Love with you and your sister. I pray everyday for us all.
    Mom

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    1. Thank you Mom! I appreciate all you've done for us. You've been such bleeding to us. We love you so much!

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  8. Karmen, I pray for you as you take the time to tell your story. It will be hard, but blogging has taught me that it can be so cathartic, and there is such a huge support system out there. AND, you already know the outcome! I look forward to reading and supporting you.

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